Keeping the Peace While Setting the Record Straight

I think it’s safe to say we all have friends and family members with whom we don’t see eye to eye about current events. (I know I’m understating things here.) We feel strongly compelled to confront them about the misinformation they share online. It’s one of the most stressful parts of modern communication, especially with those we care about.

However, fixing misinformation doesn't have to lead to a confrontation.

According to the guide from Checkology, a project of the News Literacy Project, here are six best practices for maintaining peace while setting the record straight.

The conversation should start with civility. Always address the issue with an empathetic, respectful tone.

Checkology advises, “Avoid being judgmental or simply telling someone they are wrong.” If you criticize the person, you prevent them from listening to the facts.

Next, take your time. Firing off an immediate, emotional counterattack may be tempting, but it's unhelpful. Instead, do your research - if possible — and find at least two reputable fact-checking sources.

As the Harvard Kennedy School mentions, civility “is not an easy way out of hard problems: ‘To be civil is not to be complacent. It’s an active word, not a passive one.’” Using that active effort to gather strong evidence makes your position much harder to dismiss.

To make your facts land, find common ground. Try to understand why the person posted the information. Were they motivated by a shared value, like health or community safety? Focus your response on that underlying positive intent to keep the conversation centered on collaboration, not conflict.

When you present your findings, lay out the facts. Don't just paste a link. Summarize the main findings of the debunk clearly, then include the link. This helps prevent the conversation from being sidetracked by disputes over the fact-checker’s reputation.

You can decide whether to make your response public or private, with a private message often being a better choice for sensitive family issues.

Finally, try to be patient and stick with it. It takes time to shift someone’s deeply held beliefs, if they shift at all. Staying calm and consistent really matters. Just keep speaking up politely when you come across something that feels off—you never know when you might plant a tiny seed of doubt that grows later.

(Tim Herrera is the author of “Public Speaking: Simple Steps to Improve Your Skills” and “Mastering Media: Strategies for Effective Communication in the Digital Age.”  You’ll find both Amazon.)